March 28, 2011-Our Subconscious Selves

Our Subconscious Self encompasses that part of our selves that we are not aware of consciously.  This aspect of our selves can be seen in others, however & this is one of the blessings of our relationships.  Sometimes, others are in our lives to show us our subconscious selves & issues as well as other aspects of our selves so that we can heal them.  Otherwise, we would be clueless as to what lies there & therefore clueless as to what is causing some of our problems.  So, embrace your relationship challenges for they are here to serve you & your healing journey on this planet.  Oftentimes, we strive to ignore what is bothering us in others because of feeling guilty about how we feel about them.  Once you recognize that they are you in a way, in a level of you that you are unaware of, then you can be grateful to them for showing you your self.  How would you know otherwise?  Make a list of everyone in your life that you are uncomfortable with, can’t stand to be with, are upset with or disagree with & then look at each one on the list & accept that they are you at the subconscious level or in some aspect of your self, showing you your self.  Be grateful that they are in your life showing you your self & pray for healing for them for as you do you pray for your self.  This is one of the more difficult concepts to understand & accept.  All of us walking around in different bodies makes it look as though we are completely independent of each other, completely separate from each other, completely different from each other.  It obscures the reality that we are all one.

A few years ago, I was in meditation.  It was a guided meditation led by a mentor but within just a few minutes of starting, the Holy Spirit took me in a different direction.  I don’t remember how the meditation was meant to begin but what I saw was a clear glass bowl of water upon which appeared a paper origami swan.  Suddenly the bowl disappeared from view & I was looking down onto the surface of a body of water at a living swan.  I began to be moved backwards toward the sky & as this happened what I could see in my field of vision expanded.  What had been a bowl of water now looked to be a pond & then a lake & then an ocean & then I began being pulled back ever more quickly as the United States came into view & then all of the Americas.  This continued on & there was the planet earth & the moon.  The sun & solar system soon appeared.  The feeling of rushing back intensified as I continued to be pulled away.  Soon the sun began to look like a star just like all the other stars in the cosmos & then I could see our galaxy & then it became smaller as other galaxies came into view.  Finally, in my field of vision, all I could see was an infinite black field filled with galaxies & as I continued to move backwards, farther & farther away, all of the galaxies converged to became just a single spot of light before me.  It was at this point that a very deep voice reverberated through me, saying “ALL ONE.”  I wish I could convey the intensity of this experience fully, especially the voice of God at the end.  I’m glad for the opportunity to write about it, to remember it again.  It’s all too easy to buy into the false appearance of the physical that we are all separate, different, disconnected & independent from each other.  This spiritual experience was a reminder to me that, despite what appears to be the truth in the physical, we are one.

By accepting that we are one, you open the way to healing your self & your subconscious self.  You may think that what others have done to you is unforgivable & that you could not possibly be guilty of doing to anyone what they have done to you.  I’m here to tell you that it is possible.  We wear our issues like the clown that has the sign on his back that says “Kick Me!”  We attract to our selves what we have said, done, thought, felt or believed whether we can remember it or not & whether we are aware of it or not.  This is where others play their part & come to our rescue by reading the sign & kicking us!  So if others are doing unto you what you don’t want done, then more likely than not, you have only yourself to blame & believe it or not, this is a good thing.  The alternative is that you are just unlucky, cursed, being unfairly picked on or a victim.  Taking responsibility for all that happens to you & your reaction to it puts the ball in your court.  What’s even more amazing is that when you take full responsibility for your self, the universe moves to deliver you from what you are holding that has been attracting all the abuse.  My favorite way of taking responsibility is through prayer & forgiveness work (Emotional Attunement).  These two methods have proven themselves over & over again to be effective at removing the “Kick Me” signs no matter the cause or the source of them.

What you will find when you have fully forgiven yourself & others for their part, is Divine Unconditional Love, Peace & Healing.  You may think this is not possible because of what has been done to you.  You may feel that others don’t deserve to be forgiven.  You may believe that it’s not in your power to forgive but I tell you that it is in your power because in doing so you release yourself from bondage.  You also help release others from their bondage.  When I was little, I was molested many times by my grandfather.  Fortunately for me, this was not the grandpa who raised me.  As I got older, I got better at avoiding him & preventing further abuse.  He passed over when I was 16 years old, much to my relief at the time & I have not seen him until just recently.  Needless to say, I had years of traditional therapy as a teenager & in my 30′s interspersed with a lot of nontraditional forms of therapy through the years.  A few years ago, I realized that I had finally healed from the abuse, had fully forgiven him & let it go.  I thought no more of it until about a month ago when I saw him in the dream state when I was visiting my grandma (his wife).  She passed over a little over 20 years ago & I’ve visited her in the dream state many times but she was always either alone or with other family members.  I was completely shocked, therefore, to see my grandfather with her this time. This was the first time I’d seen him in over 35 years. He was almost unbelievably transformed – loving, happy, healthy & whole. What was even more shocking to me was that, as I stood before him, I realized that not only had I forgiven him (which I already knew) but that I loved him!  Not at any point when he was alive, did I ever feel that I loved him.  I hugged him then & told him I loved him & in my mind I told him that I’d forgiven him.  I didn’t say that I’d forgiven him aloud because I’m never quite sure what is remembered, known or understood by others at that level.

I am not sharing this to show how enlightened I am, to gain sympathy or to impress anyone but to impress on you that forgiving others is in your power to do & to point out that if I can forgive my grandfather then you can forgive those who’ve hurt you as well.  I know that forgiving him transformed me, did my forgiving him transform him as well?

Love, Dawn


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