March 28, 2011-Our Subconscious Selves

Our Subconscious Self encompasses that part of our selves that we are not aware of consciously.  This aspect of our selves can be seen in others, however & this is one of the blessings of our relationships.  Sometimes, others are in our lives to show us our subconscious selves & issues as well as other aspects of our selves so that we can heal them.  Otherwise, we would be clueless as to what lies there & therefore clueless as to what is causing some of our problems.  So, embrace your relationship challenges for they are here to serve you & your healing journey on this planet.  Oftentimes, we strive to ignore what is bothering us in others because of feeling guilty about how we feel about them.  Once you recognize that they are you in a way, in a level of you that you are unaware of, then you can be grateful to them for showing you your self.  How would you know otherwise?  Make a list of everyone in your life that you are uncomfortable with, can’t stand to be with, are upset with or disagree with & then look at each one on the list & accept that they are you at the subconscious level or in some aspect of your self, showing you your self.  Be grateful that they are in your life showing you your self & pray for healing for them for as you do you pray for your self.  This is one of the more difficult concepts to understand & accept.  All of us walking around in different bodies makes it look as though we are completely independent of each other, completely separate from each other, completely different from each other.  It obscures the reality that we are all one.

A few years ago, I was in meditation.  It was a guided meditation led by a mentor but within just a few minutes of starting, the Holy Spirit took me in a different direction.  I don’t remember how the meditation was meant to begin but what I saw was a clear glass bowl of water upon which appeared a paper origami swan.  Suddenly the bowl disappeared from view & I was looking down onto the surface of a body of water at a living swan.  I began to be moved backwards toward the sky & as this happened what I could see in my field of vision expanded.  What had been a bowl of water now looked to be a pond & then a lake & then an ocean & then I began being pulled back ever more quickly as the United States came into view & then all of the Americas.  This continued on & there was the planet earth & the moon.  The sun & solar system soon appeared.  The feeling of rushing back intensified as I continued to be pulled away.  Soon the sun began to look like a star just like all the other stars in the cosmos & then I could see our galaxy & then it became smaller as other galaxies came into view.  Finally, in my field of vision, all I could see was an infinite black field filled with galaxies & as I continued to move backwards, farther & farther away, all of the galaxies converged to became just a single spot of light before me.  It was at this point that a very deep voice reverberated through me, saying “ALL ONE.”  I wish I could convey the intensity of this experience fully, especially the voice of God at the end.  I’m glad for the opportunity to write about it, to remember it again.  It’s all too easy to buy into the false appearance of the physical that we are all separate, different, disconnected & independent from each other.  This spiritual experience was a reminder to me that, despite what appears to be the truth in the physical, we are one.

By accepting that we are one, you open the way to healing your self & your subconscious self.  You may think that what others have done to you is unforgivable & that you could not possibly be guilty of doing to anyone what they have done to you.  I’m here to tell you that it is possible.  We wear our issues like the clown that has the sign on his back that says “Kick Me!”  We attract to our selves what we have said, done, thought, felt or believed whether we can remember it or not & whether we are aware of it or not.  This is where others play their part & come to our rescue by reading the sign & kicking us!  So if others are doing unto you what you don’t want done, then more likely than not, you have only yourself to blame & believe it or not, this is a good thing.  The alternative is that you are just unlucky, cursed, being unfairly picked on or a victim.  Taking responsibility for all that happens to you & your reaction to it puts the ball in your court.  What’s even more amazing is that when you take full responsibility for your self, the universe moves to deliver you from what you are holding that has been attracting all the abuse.  My favorite way of taking responsibility is through prayer & forgiveness work (Emotional Attunement).  These two methods have proven themselves over & over again to be effective at removing the “Kick Me” signs no matter the cause or the source of them.

What you will find when you have fully forgiven yourself & others for their part, is Divine Unconditional Love, Peace & Healing.  You may think this is not possible because of what has been done to you.  You may feel that others don’t deserve to be forgiven.  You may believe that it’s not in your power to forgive but I tell you that it is in your power because in doing so you release yourself from bondage.  You also help release others from their bondage.  When I was little, I was molested many times by my grandfather.  Fortunately for me, this was not the grandpa who raised me.  As I got older, I got better at avoiding him & preventing further abuse.  He passed over when I was 16 years old, much to my relief at the time & I have not seen him until just recently.  Needless to say, I had years of traditional therapy as a teenager & in my 30′s interspersed with a lot of nontraditional forms of therapy through the years.  A few years ago, I realized that I had finally healed from the abuse, had fully forgiven him & let it go.  I thought no more of it until about a month ago when I saw him in the dream state when I was visiting my grandma (his wife).  She passed over a little over 20 years ago & I’ve visited her in the dream state many times but she was always either alone or with other family members.  I was completely shocked, therefore, to see my grandfather with her this time. This was the first time I’d seen him in over 35 years. He was almost unbelievably transformed – loving, happy, healthy & whole. What was even more shocking to me was that, as I stood before him, I realized that not only had I forgiven him (which I already knew) but that I loved him!  Not at any point when he was alive, did I ever feel that I loved him.  I hugged him then & told him I loved him & in my mind I told him that I’d forgiven him.  I didn’t say that I’d forgiven him aloud because I’m never quite sure what is remembered, known or understood by others at that level.

I am not sharing this to show how enlightened I am, to gain sympathy or to impress anyone but to impress on you that forgiving others is in your power to do & to point out that if I can forgive my grandfather then you can forgive those who’ve hurt you as well.  I know that forgiving him transformed me, did my forgiving him transform him as well?

Love, Dawn


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January 19, 2011-Our Emotional Selves

We don’t usually think about our emotions, until they are in our faces but they are a part of us all the time.  We also don’t think of our selves as having an emotional self but it’s helpful to think of our selves in this way rather than diminishing our selves by saying that we just have emotions or feel emotions or are over taken by our emotions.  To view emotions as being outside of us or separate from us, diminishes our wholeness & gives us permission to ignore them, overlook them, minimize them or even hide them from our selves & others.  To heal, we need to honor every part of our selves, even those parts that we are not used to thinking about or recognizing as valid & as real as our bodies.  Our physical selves get the lion’s share of our attention, much to our detriment, because we are infinitely more than just a physical body.

Our emotions & emotional selves can be thought of as an early warning device that warns us of things that we normally wouldn’t perceive until it’s too late, much like smoke & carbon monoxide detectors.  Another way to think of them, is as a barometer that monitors our environment, only in this case it’s usually our inner environment.  Our emotional selves can almost be likened to instincts, arising many times without our thinking about anything or being aware of anything.  A story that illustrates might be helpful.

When I was about 21, I had just moved into a place of my own.  I was driving down the road towards my dad’s & grandfather’s office.  I don’t now remember if I was going there or if I just happened to be heading in that direction.  Anyway, I felt fine driving along listening to the radio.  Quite suddenly & without any thought or forewarning, I burst into tears.  I was crying so hard I could hardly breathe or see the road.  I realized right away what I was crying about.  I pulled the car over & ran sobbing into my dad’s office, probably scaring him half to death wondering who had died!  What had triggered this?  It was a verse, “don’t leave me again” from the song playing on the radio.  A few days before, my step mom had broken the news to me that she & my dad were separating but I hadn’t had a chance to talk to my dad about it, yet.  My dad & my own mom had divorced when I was a 5 year old.   My dad moved out & my mom remarried & took me out of state to live.  Unknown to me until that moment, I was terrified I was going to lose him again when he divorced my step-mom.  What is interesting is that up until hearing this verse, I had no awareness of my fear.  I remember feeling sad for them & for my siblings when my step-mom told me but that was all.  I have heard others relate similar stories of emotions coming seemingly out of nowhere, many times with comments about how silly they were to feel that way or how embarrassed they felt.

We tend to assume that what happens in the past, stays in the past & should have no effect on us later but our emotional selves would beg to differ!  As long as a trauma remains unhealed, it remains in us, forever affecting how we feel about our selves, others, life whether we are aware of them or not.  Fortunately for me, I could remember the trauma & could cry about it & talk about it with my dad & process it in a way that was healing for us both.  For many traumas & for many of us, this isn’t available.  Maybe we don’t even remember the trauma or the others involved are no longer in our lives or are not open to helping us resolve our traumas.  This is what drives many of us to the psychiatrist’s couch!  Counseling is definitely helpful in many cases but sometimes, something more is required.  That something more is what I call emotional work or forgiveness work.  It exists in many different formulas & forms:  Neuro Emotional Technique (NET), Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), Emotional Polarity Therapy (EPT), Emotional Attunement & many others.  For the past 12 years, I have used Emotional Attunement which is a local, home-grown-in-Indiana technique although I have experienced NET, EPT & two other un-named techniques used by a Chiropractor in Maryland & a therapist in Hawaii.  Forgiveness work is excellent at relieving emotional distress from any cause, past or present as well as resolving traumas, phobias, fears, blocks & about anything else I have thrown at it.

Another healing modality for the emotional self is exercise, believe it or not.  Exercise helps us process our energy & our emotions relieving depression, anxiety, hyperactivity, poor self-image & sluggishness just to name a few benefits.  It also helps bring us more fully present in our bodies & into the present moment which can help us better handle what comes our way.

Music can have a profound impact on your mood & could be considered a form of vibrational therapy.  In 2005, I got seriously ill.  For the next several years, as I recovered, I listened to Frank Sinatra CD’s every day, all day.  I have acquired quite a collection.  After I’d gotten sick, I found one given to my daughter that she’d thrown into the donate box.  I’d never listened to him before, so I was curious.  I popped it into the CD player & I was hooked.  Why Frank Sinatra?  Well, for one thing, I have no emotional associations with his music since I’d not listened to him growing up & for another, his singing feels happy to me.  If you’ve ever been sick for a long time, you know how depressing that can be.  Frank’s singing got me through it, day by day.  For you, it might be polka, jazz, classical or classic rock but whatever you choose, make sure it makes you feel good, happy, joyful, light-hearted.

Dancing is great for the emotional self also, as it combines two of these therapies-music & exercise.  As with the music, choose a dance form that you enjoy or would like to learn & have fun!

There’s my recommendations for healing your emotional self.  What are your ideas?  What has worked for you?

Love, Dawn


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