Welcome to Just Dawn!
One day, many years ago, when I was about 16 years old, I had a sudden joyful knowing in my heart of what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to be a minister. It was what I now think of as a moment of “I know that I know that I know.” I had no doubt about it. What puzzled me in the next moment however, was with what church or religion was I to be a minister? I ran through all those I knew of, including the one I was brought up in & thought “no, not that one” to each in turn. My joy & amazement that I knew what I wanted to be & do gradually turned to grief & loss as I realized that my church did not exist. Sadly, on the heels of this awareness, was an even more discouraging awareness & belief. That I wasn’t “good” enough to be a minister. It took me more than 20 years to overcome these two obstacles. Twenty plus years of work healing myself with the help of Spirit & others. Twenty plus years of searching for my church, studying & learning. Twenty plus years of anguish knowing that I was not doing what I was meant to do & fear that I might not ever. Of course, while the healing portion of my journey may never be over, I am happy to report that I was gradually led to my church & I claimed my path. This may or may not be a path, church or religion you have ever heard of. In fact, I’d been a minister for a number of years before I fully realized that my spiritual belief system had a name, let alone any other groups besides my own small circle. I discovered it in a bookstore of all places. I came upon a book called “Gnosis of the Cosmic Christ” by Tau Malachi (www.sophian.org) that looked very interesting. I bought it. I read it. I was stunned by what I read. I was a Christian Gnostic & had been at least since the day when I realized I wanted to be a minister. I just hadn’t known.
In today’s world, my path to becoming a minister is not considered the normal path. The normal path is to join an established church or religion with an established belief system. Then to study that belief system & probably go through a prescribed ministerial school/program, become ordained & start ministering to a congregation or in a church, temple or synagogue in some way. I definitely stepped into my ministry backwards by the world’s standards but it doesn’t seem that Spirit is too concerned with what the world expects. I was ordained May 15th, 1999 & at that time, I was 40 years into Spirit’s lifetime course of study for me. I have since that time, been ministering to individuals as a pastoral counselor & holistic therapist as well as continuing my own healing & spiritual study. I live in Indiana with my husband of 28 years & I am a mother & grandmother.